Thursday, September 18, 2014

My Daddy was a Dreamer

Daddy walking me down the isle at my first wedding "97
I suppose that's how I learned to dream big! I don't know if my dreams will ever come to be, I hope so, but my dad's did. He was in his forties by the time I came along, the surprise baby, youngest of four. Most would see me as just another mouth to feed, but my daddy called me his baby and we were quite close! I'm not sure of the long line of job titles my daddy held to get to his dream of owning his own business, but I've heard stories of his military days, his milk man days, and his small engine mechanic (working for the man) days.

By the time I was in high school, Daddy was getting on up in age and after years of devoted service, he was let go from his small engine mechanic position. A position that I'd been familiar with my entire life as long as I can remember so I know he'd been there awhile. He said nobody wanted the old man hanging around. He could have given up at that point, but Daddy was a dreamer and through it all, he held onto those dreams no matter how bleak it looked trying to feed a family of 6 + help with a grand baby on such a tight budget. 


I forget just what age he finally opened up his shop, but I believe he was around 60. Unfortunately a family member and his buddies robbed the place once. Then there was the day Mama's fire got out of hand and burnt the shed to the ground! I guess Daddy was a stubborn man too! He always rebuilt! I definitely have that trait! If you truly want a dream to come true, then you have to be stubborn about it and willing to rebuild when it all crashes down.

I sure want to be a writer! I want to be a writer just as bad as my daddy wanted to open his own small engine repair shop. Sure enough, his persistence paid off and "Sumiton Small Engine" became a reality! Daddy was an excellent mechanic. He put multiple small businesses out of business, simply because he was good at what he did and most people genuinely loved him! They called him "Lawn Mower Man", coined by his unique advertisement of a push mower on a post rather than a sign. It got people's attention and his dedication and expertise did too! 


Today is the day my daddy entered this world, September 18, 1934. He celebrated 72 years on this earth and I got to be called his "baby" for 29 of those. 

In honor of my Daddy's birthday and the dreaming ways that he instilled in me, I'm going to try to write 500 words a day until I work my way up to 1000. I don't want to be 60 before my dreams come true, and though times are extremely tough right now, I don't want to let my dreams die either. 

So even though I like to go to a place where I can dream about unicorns, slide down rainbows, float on clouds, dance in the rain storms, catch glow worms,play in the pixie dust, roll in the glitter, paint the world with bright colors, run through fields of flowers, splash with the rainbow fish in the rivers, and spend my free time loving puppies and kittens while trying to catch a flutterby, that doesn't make me delusional! It makes me my father's daughter, the daughter of a dreamer. 


~Sunshine Biondo~ 582 words~ 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Am I Meant to be a Writer?

Writing flows so effortlessly from my heart to yours. It always has. My high school history teacher understood my passion for writing. He encouraged me to write during his class because he knew I hated learning about world history and current events! Unfortunately my English teacher did not agree. He told me to pursue other areas because I would never make it as a writer. Over the years its been a toss! Half of my friends and family believed whole heartedly in my talents. Half felt I was wasting my time. 

Deep down I know I'm meant to be a writer, but I am always searching for inspiration, signs, encouragement from the world around me to reassure my doubts. 

Today I ran across this article 8 Signs That You ARE meant to be a writer . I found it very interesting. Reading this was one of those rare "finally someone understands me" moments in life! 

1.)  I have many secret dreams! Not only do I dream of living a better life because of my writing, I dream of writing. I have had entire short stories unfold in my dreams and awake just itching to write them down! These dreams stay with me and agitate me deep within until I finally break down and write them down. 

2.) Doubt is a sign that I am meant to be a writer. Go figure - I doubt my writing abilities all the time! I go on long breaks, push my work aside, make a million excuses why I will fail, and refuse to even try to believe that I have what it takes! Definitely plagued by doubt.

3.) Excuses not to do things with others because I have to write. I'm truly not interested in what other people are interested in. I live in my own world. It makes it difficult for my husband who is very social, but its who I am. When I gotta write, I gotta write! 

4.) I get inspired. I get inspired by nature, people, circumstances, and all aspects of the world around me! I am constantly inspired by something I read, hear, see, or live through. 

5.) Perfectionism....could we skip this one? My husband is always on me that "it doesn't have to be perfect". It most certainly does have to be perfect! My work must bleed perfection. I strive for it. I live for it. Without it, I struggle to wrap my mind around it.

6.) Admiration for writers and all kinds of written word. I read. I listen to lyrics. I pay attention to speakers. I greatly admire writers of the past and the present and secretly wonder what it would be like to be read by (well lets be real) hundreds of readers. I'm still working on dozens! 

7.) Lacking - my life absolutely feels near empty (aside from my wonderful husband and pets) if not for my ability to write. In the past few years I have suffered tremendously for this reason alone! My divorce consumed me. Players consumed me. Leaving my daughter, starting a new life, working so many hours away from home at a job consumed me. I must write! When I do not write, I feel drained of my creative outlet and bogged down by negativity. 

8.) I yearn to write! I feel led to write. I secretly want to answer my calling and yet fear of what others might think or that no one will read my work, holds me back.

My heart raced as I read that article. It's true. It's all true. I am meant to be a writer. I know this. Deep down, I know I am. I'm just afraid. I don't want to be a failure in life. I'm tired of falling down so much. The reality is that I'm only a failure if I don't get back up again. Life has knocked me down a lot, but I always claw my way back up out of the pit I've been tossed into, no matter how hard or how long it takes! 

Plunged


Pain so brutal never thought I'd survive
Through the process, of staying alive
Plunged into darkness
Never to be found
I was defenseless
As the pain broke me down 
This life's a journey
I'm finding my way
Digging deeper than I knew possible
To face another day


~Sunshine Biondo~

Thursday, September 11, 2014

One Step Closer

........Ploomp, ploomp, ploomp, a tiny amount of water drips consistently from the kitchen faucet. Two small kittens purr gently in the chair beside me. Their soft calico markings rising effortlessly with each small breath. Tiny whiskers twitch. My curiosity rises. Whatever do tiny kittens dream about?

There is a stillness that I have grown unfamiliar with while working so many hours the past two years. Those long days are over now. A good man with a gentle heart lie sleeping down the hall. He sleeps quietly and not a sound is heard from where I sit. The place we call home isn't much to look at. It's a shelter. It's a starting point. My dreams carry me away to a finer home with a gorgeous view........

....Lap, Crash! The waves pound against the shore as the evening sun sinks behind the drifting clouds..I am living my dream. I am married to the most amazing and wonderful husband a woman could want. We have beautiful healthy children running around, laughing playfully. I no longer have to work outside my home, as my home is my office. My writing room is at the top of our modest, yet lovely beach home. The walls that surround me are of glass. I over look the ocean as I always dreamed I would! 


The clouds over head are growing darker...Lap, Crash, Whoosh! The waves pound heavy as the wind picks up. 

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, my fingers glide across the keys of my laptop! Story after story has been completed and placed into the hands of those eager to read what happens next! And I, I am thrilled to capture such wondrous beauty and neatly engulf my readers, each line urging them to come along with me! What will the next journey hold? Let us go, quickly, together, take my hand! Let's leap into the pool of the unknown!

I hear the children, oh those precious children. The ache of miscarriage and infertility has passed us, our children are happy and healthy. I hear them outside playing tag with their awesome daddy. "Tag you're it!" I hear him say. "I'm gonna get ya!" he shouts as he chases them about our back yard made of sand.

A flash of lightening dances across the sky! Thunder rumbles in a low and angry tone. I hear the downstairs door close and the pitter patter of little feet as they scurry to the movie room and settle in to watch a movie. How thoughtful of my husband to watch the little ones while I tap into my world of writing!

Whoosh! Crash! Clang! Rumble! The storm is upon us now. What an amazing show the sky puts on from my cozy glass office. I try my best to focus on my writing, but I simply must pause to watch with fascination! There is so much chaos in the sky tonight and the waves stand high as if they are soldiers preparing for battle! I quietly close the lap top and call it a night as I join my husband and children downstairs for movie night!

The morning brings about a welcomed coolness. The sand remains moist and tiny droplets hang upon the roses in my garden. I step outside to admire the beauty, breathing in the salty air that has replaced the strong musky and moldy smells of our old home. Those days are long passed. The journey wasn't easy, but it was worth it! I smile as a beautiful two toned yellow rose catches my eye. With one snip, I hold my golden treasure in my hands and head back inside.

Greeted by good morning hugs from our wonderful, healthy, vibrant children, and my amazing, supportive, loving, and handsome husband, I begin my upward walk to the "Sunshine Room". Happily coined for its unique display of every angle of the sky and of course because it is where the majority of Sunshine Biondo's creations take place.

I sit down to my computer once again, as the family heads out to play at the beach. After a few moments I spot them from my look out. What wonderful inspirations I have!

.....tap, tap, tap, tap, tap ~ It's all coming to me now. The story unfolds. Character by character, vision by vision, it calls out. "Come with me! Let us see what the next chapter holds....."

........The soft purr of the kittens pulls me back...Like tiny motors their continuous melody plays on. The dripping of the water has been drowned out by the tap, tap, tap of the keys beneath my finger tips...A smile crosses my face. I may not have my ocean view or the children just yet, but I'm not giving up on this journey!

Each day, each tap of the keys, each supportive hug from my husband, each hope filled smile upon our faces, each of these moments lead me one step closer........ 


~Sunshine Biondo~ 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

True Love Doesn't Cheat!

Can you make your lover cheat on you?

This is a question that's been running around in my mind for a few weeks. I wasn't quite sure how to word it. I've heard a few people say "if he doesn't get it at home, he's getting it somewhere". This was actually quoted to me for years as my first husband and I spent very little quality time together (not for lack of trying on my part). Friends, family, even strangers, were constantly trying to convince me that my (now ex) husband was cheating on me. I wouldn't hear it. I had it in my head that if I just did more of this and less of that then he would want to be with me. If I just looked this way and not so much that way, he would never have reason to look further than home. Unfortunately, I was mistaken, on many levels, and though he denies it, I feel he was cheating on me (if only in his heart).

Can you prevent your lover from cheating on you?

I see now that there wasn't a thing in the world I could have done or not done differently to prevent him from being a cheater. Becoming a cheater is a decision one makes on their own. True, I'm sure it isn't a desire they wake up with one morning in the midst of a happy, loving relationship and say they want to be a cheater. It requires temptation and dissatisfaction, but ultimately it's that individual's decision. We all have freedom of making our own choices with the minds we've been given. 

I don't feel its our  job as the second party to control what our lover's do. So why is it that when someone is cheated on, be it a man or woman, those nearest us will look to the victim as the cause. "Well if he'd been home more, she wouldn't have felt so alone." This one burns me. I spent thirteen years as a devoted and loyal wife who was left alone with the baby a lot. My (now ex) didn't want to be around me. He felt I didn't work, therefore I didn't deserve. Whether it was a nice dinner outside the house or a family vacation (minus the family), he pretty much did what ever the hell he wanted and told me I was wasn't worthy to grace his presence. 

Did I fall into despair of being left alone and turn to the strong arms and powerful sex of a stranger or friend? No, not until the divorce was filed (at that point my world came crashing down and my common sense spiraled wildly out of control). Before then, I was a loyal, dedicated, and very unhappy wife. His actions didn't make me cheat. Even when he filed for divorce and my heart was broken enough to talk to someone online, I could not bring myself to cross that line until the divorce was final - it still felt like cheating. Had I chosen to move on at that point, it wouldn't have been the result of something he had "made" me do. Nobody can "make" you do something! Even if you have a gun to your head, you still have the choice to do or die (no pun intended). 

So why then do we, especially we women, feel it is our job to keep our men from cheating? This is something I wrestle with, even now. My husband now is very outgoing. He has a bubbly personality and talks openly to everyone! A lot of what he does is seen as flirting and the response from women seems some what flirtacious whether his wife is standing there or not. For months, I lived in fear that this man too will cheat within his heart. I fell back on old beliefs, if I only did this better or looked this way, then he would have no reason to cheat. 

What am I doing? 

He HAS no reason to cheat! You don't give someone a reason to cheat. It's a decision they make. It's nothing about looks or affection or attention. It's about love. Either this joker loves you or he doesn't. Either your woman's heart belongs to YOU and you alone, or it doesn't. When you love someone, you don't intentionally hurt that person - not true, pure, REAL love, anyway. That is not how love works. Love may bicker and love may say hurtful things, but true love, doesn't cross dangerous lines.

I was accused of cheating once. My (ex) husband accused me of going to Tennessee to cheat on him with the pastor who tried to rape me. In fact, when I confessed to him that a pastor had locked me in a cabin and assaulted me, he called me a "white trash bitch cheating whore". I knew then and know now in my heart, that I had absolutely no intent of cheating on my husband. I was loyal. I was true. It took me three days to tell him about it because I was confused and covered in the shame of what was done to me in that cabin - not shame from my behavior or intentions. 


I've been accused of "trying" my current husband earlier in our relationship. Apparently, women in his past, have been dishonest and have "tried" him. I worked a little extra hard to prove that, that wasn't me - I'm pretty sure he knows that now (a year into our marriage). I had one Summer of meaningless sexual encounters with players and jackals. That was enough for me. No more wild oats to be sewn here. However, if I did choose to cheat and destroy my marriage, that would be my decision. He wouldn't be to blame or vice versa. 

I share all of this to speak boldly to myself with distinct clarification. You cannot make your husband cheat on you. You cannot prevent your husband from cheating on you. Once a cheater is NOT always a cheater. People change. Just because you had meaningless sexual encounters with four players, doesn't mean you will ever do that again. What's in the past, is in the past. Just because your mother and your ex husband told you there is something wrong with you, doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. You are not ugly. You are not fat. You are not lazy. Your husband is not going to cheat on you because you haven't given him a baby in two years of trying! (this fear cuts me deep most days.)You are not worthless. You do have value and you do deserve to be loved, cherished, and appreciated! True love doesn't cheat. 

All I or any of us can do, is our best. Treat ourselves best. Treat others best. Love with the best. Add value to our relationships. 

Negative behavior may contribute to negative behavior, relationships always have two sides, but ultimately, the ball is in our own courts. We can all wake up tomorrow and choose to destroy our relationships by cheating with our hearts, minds, or bodies, or we can keep our priorities straight and remain. 

That's a good word for it, "remain". Let's all just remain in our relationships. Remember how long it took to get where you are. Remember the "loves" and losses. Remember the heartache and tears. Remember the ones that ignored you or kept you as an extra on the side. Remember how it felt when all you wanted was to be loved. Now, you are loved, truly loved. Just remain in it. Enjoy it! You've reaped the harvest of your labor. I will say it again, true love, love that is pure and comes from the depths of the soul and isn't based upon fantasy or selfish desire, true love doesn't cheat! 

More importantly, nobody, not me, not you, nobody can "make" someone cheat on them. Just as nobody can "make" you cheat on them.In the same sense that nobody can prevent another from cheating on them. I've come to the conclusion that, I'm not going to face another day of my marriage in fear. I know I'm loyal and will never cheat and I know if he cheats on me, then he never truly loved me with all of his heart, because a piece of his heart was always open for the next best option. That's not love. That's lust.

What worth does lust hold to me? 


~Sunshine Biondo~ 


Sunday, August 24, 2014

Pressed For Time!

I'm having a blast working side by side with the love of my life on the paper routes, but it can get hectic. We've been arriving around 2:30 AM. We get our papers rolled and are on our way by 3 o'clock. We've gotten our first route down to the wire - takes about 1.5 hours to complete. It's the 2nd route that we're still learning! 

The problem I'm running into is my nanny job needing me there by 7:30 and us not finishing the route until 7:30. It's been stressful trying to fit it all in and keep everyone happy! My family told me this week that they want me to stay on as the kids' driver. That will mean I can arrive a little later as the new nanny will be doing all the morning preparations. I'm not sure if the pay will even out though. If they can't pay what I need then they will have to find someone else as we are trying to move forward - not stay stuck. 

We've run into issues with finding an affordable place to rent that suits our unique needs, we've decided to stay where we are and remodel. I think people look at our home and see a run down 70's trailer on the brink of being torn down, but we see potential! So if all works out with the incomes, we will begin the long journey to really fixing up the place. There's sure to be lots of pictures to share along the way! 

My current schedule isn't allowing much time for writing at the moment. I get very discouraged most days, thinking it will never happen. I'm trying to keep in mind, this is just for 3 more weeks. After that I will either arrive at my new driving job a little later in the morning, or find a part time that suits our needs better. 

We've had no luck in the TTC area this year. One chemical in May and nothing since. Some days seem hopeless. Some days I remind myself that my schedule is hectic and we need to improve our living environment before bringing in a little one. In the mean time, we did bring in two little bitty ones to keep us busy and give us babies to nurture! 


That sums up this past week, and the next three weeks to come! BUSY!BUSY!BUSY! and sleeping at all hours of the night and day whenever I can find a few moments of quiet! Hopefully things will work out with the driving job and I can finally have a little breathing room in my schedule to write more. Until then ~ 

~Sunshine Biondo~

Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Game of Hussle begins now!

Mike and I have been looking for a job that would allow us to be together more and increase our incomes. So we decided I would get a paper route and he would help out (after my 50 hour nanny job ends of course) right? Right? RIGHT?!?! 

Wrongo...As it turns out, two routes became available immediately! Even though I still have 5 weeks at my day job, it just seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up. The game of hussle begins now! 

This morning was our first day, yes Sunday, the grand papa of papers and twice the customers is where they decided to throw us. Boy did they ever throw us! We were given our stacks of papers, one route to start off with, and directions that were written about three years ago! We showed them to the guy we were supposed to talk to and he shook his head, took a deep sigh, and said "Yeah....I've actually had to deliver this route before.." which sounded like "May the gods be with you!" 

That should have been our first clue! 

We set out at 2:30 rolling and stacking our future endeavors. Then we hit the road with Mike in the driver's seat. The first few houses didn't seem too difficult...but then...things got weird.

We began to notice there were a lot and I mean a lot of "U turns" which meant go back the way you just came from, wrap clear around the city, come back down the same road in the opposite direction of which you started. There were many moments of "didn't we just pass this house?" 

We had some LOL moments along the way. Most of them on me, though Mike had a few as well. We had quite a few apartment complexes where the "ABC" buildings were on one side and the "QRS" were on another. Well somewhere between those we finally managed to locate an "H" building we had been looking for. Mike had already gotten in and out of the car repeatedly just to walk up in the dark and realize we were at the wrong building. When we finally found our "H" I agreed to go to the second story apartment. I walked up the steps and when I tossed the paper up towards the door, it hit a small puddle of water, slid, and in a matter of  seconds shot under the metal banister and plummeted back to the first story ground! Mike had a good laugh and I had a good workout! 

Another time I didn't feel confident in my abilities to throw to a house from the comfort of the car. I got out, wound up my best throw and off it went! Oh it was a beautiful throw! Some of my finest work. After I retrieved the paper from the tree it landed in, I sheepishly walked it up to the front porch and sunk back into the front seat of the car. "Shut up Mike." 

Oh but Mike had his shining moments as well. There was the paper that just refused to roll up the driveway. He had to jump out of the comfort of the driver's seat a few times to will the papers to climb out of ditches and up the hills. Who knew there were so many hills in Tallahassee Florida?!? He had a much better throw than I but he was also more apt to drive right past the turn or building! 

We bickered a bit as two sleep deprived, hungry, and hopelessly lost, and seriously late paper carriers might do. The worst bicker came when he, the rebel, wanted to toss the library's papers on the ground by their door. I, the stickler for rules, refused to ignore the specifically marked directions to leave them in the book drop box. I really had to stand my ground on that one! I ended up walking to the drop box because it was around the building and he refused to drive there but hey, the job got done! 

Speaking of libraries, one was so difficult and challenging to locate inside a campus that we ended up having to ask the maintenance man! He was kind enough to lead us straight to it, but not before I walked down some strange wrap around ramp lined with webs and spiders. Luckily by then we were running about 5 hours behind schedule and it was daylight! 

Probably my favorite part of the whole ordeal besides spending quality time with my Lovie, was two very understanding customers. They were both older women, very compassionate to our being 'tossed under the bus', appreciative, and understanding. The first was disabled and I delivered it to the door where she waited. I apologized for our tardiness and explained we were new and learning. She just said "thank you, thank you, thank you, that's alright". The second came out and talked to me for a bit. She was very compassionate of our predicament and had mentioned she received no paper the day before. (Which goes along well with the notes we found along the way begging and pleading for their papers and special directions because "theft suspected"..Yeah right! Nobody wanted to finish this route). Hopefully once we get the hang of things we can keep our customers very happy with our services! 

As for now...my work days this week will begin around 1:30 AM and end around 6:30 PM. It's just for 5 days but boy it's going to be tough! Not the way I would have planned it, but very happy that this door opened for us. Mike was going to go to work tonight but breakfast on the run made him sick. I called in for him and his boss was irate! So....I guess this is our new source of income once my job ends in 5 weeks. Bonus* I will have lots more time to devote to my writing goals, marriage, and hopefully making a family with the man I love. 


~Sunshine Biondo~


Friday, August 8, 2014

Time for a Re-Introduction!

Over the years I've done my share of writing, blogging, and just plain venting all across the web! Some of my favorite hang outs have been Christian Chat, Gather, Redgage, and of course here on Blogger where I've shared my ups and downs, ins and outs, and anything side ways in my life! It's a real treat for me to be able to express myself through writing, be it my lighter, carefree side or my (try not to commit suicide while reading) dark side, or even just my (that girl is nuttier than a fruit cake) crazy side! I guess that makes me a three sided triangle? 

So, those of you who followed me through Mrslisae, Loving Mind Expressions, Scattered Pieces of my Mind, Lisa M. Earnest, and onto my new found dream world of proudly being Lisa M. Biondo AKA Sunshine Biondo (1 year and 2 days now), you've probably wondered (or at least for the sake of self fulfillment and flattery I will pretend) that my "fans" have wondered where on earth I've been? I didn't fall off the face of the earth - though it seems that way at times - no, I've actually gone from being an unloved, unappreciated country wife, homeschooling mom, and lover of all people with a cushy life style, nice everything, who only worked part time to buy extra fun for my daughter TO a very much loved, daily appreciated, broke as f**k, over worked, underpaid, totally stressed out woman dealing with living in a city of hatefuls, suffering fertility problems, multiple miscarriages, and a teenage daughter who flew the coop to stay where her friends are! 

Some things never change though, I still have a passion to express myself through my writing. And dadburnit! I'm going to get there, one way or another! My new awesome (Happy 1st Anniversary Lovie!!!!) husband by my side cheering me on and never hesitating to critique my work..(grumble)...

Now, I've gone from living in the sweet country of Alabama (believe me Alabama is a country all of its own), to the harsh, cruel world of Tallahassee, FL. I think aliens abducted all the rude people and dropped them here! Go FSU, but this city pretty much stinks to me. Why, I used to drive nearly an hour to find the nearest interstate. Now I have to drive a much larger and busier interstate 20 minutes a day, morning and evening just to complete my daily commute! UGH! But....alas, fear not, change is on the way! (Soon and very soon I will no longer be making that drive and I am scared senseless as I do not have a "back up plan" per say). More of a "jump in and paddle like your life depends on it plan". 

Why would I leave my beautiful sweet home Alabama and travel 320 miles to a city I can't stand, you ask? (you didn't? Well I'll tell you anyway)....It's because I found this! 
It's called true love and it really does exist outside fairy tales! I miss my daughter terribly, but she's not a baby anymore and her decisions are her's to make, but this man makes life worth living 100x over and again! I love him and his love for me is my life support! I never dreamed love could be this good and I certainly never thought marriage was a happy occasion every day! Even when we fuss, there's usually a quick realization that neither of us can stay angry at the other for long - Love is a wonderful thing! And yes, it will make you do crazy things...

Here's what I did. I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a total stranger. I then messaged this stranger and began telling my life story while listening to his. Our chat carried on into cell phone text and lasted throughout the night and into the morning. I then had a severe panic attack the following day, sent this stranger a text, felt the warmth as he 'held my hand' from 350 miles away while I laid in the hospital all alone. Our text led to a phone call the following day (followed by a few hiccups based on fear that long distance relationships do not work...lies I tell ya). The next month I hopped myself onto a Greyhound bus early in the morning and rode 300 miles to meet this perfect stranger in person. I survived the week (proof that he was not an ax murder as my family assumed). He survived the week (proof that I was not an ax murderer as his family assumed). He promised to make me his wife. We said a sad "good-bye" only to set up our plans as the mission of "Operation Get to Grid" began. Three months after I accepted that friend request, I left everything (including my very hard headed teenage daughter) and loaded yet another Grey hound this time with nothing but a duffle bag to my name to begin my new life in Tallahassee...

My bag contained : journal, photographs of family,friends, and several of my daughter, CD covers (left all the cd's because all their songs were loaded to an mp3 that broke shortly after my arrival....DOH!!) of RED and Peter Furler, my favorites! I had an envelope with my birth certificate, divorce papers, and other important documents, maybe 3 outfits, cosmetics, and an electric blanket (which also broke shortly after my arrival), and all my gifts sent from Florida to Alabama with love. In my hand I carried my cell phone and life support to my Lovie, my bus ticket, and a blanket I had carried to Alabama after my last visit to remind me of all the cuddles I had in store! ( I left my most valued belongings with the EX whom I trusted to keep up with until I could retrieve them...He infact lost or threw away everything including the baby book I handmade for my daughter with all those irreplaceable pieces of her first 5 years :-( JERK! )

And so I went from this....
 To this!! (oh and unlike the EX my man loves ALL my curves and tells me I'm beautiful everyday!!) 


As I stated in an earlier post, there is no "Happy Ever After" in life. I strongly believe that. There are happy times (finding your true love for example) and sad times (kids choosing friends over family and multiple miscarriages to name a few), but all of the pages are part of the same book. Some chapters should have never been written, others closed all too soon, some are written in perfect chaos, and others (many, many I hope) are yet to written or even thought of! 

It's exciting to share my journey with whoever took the time to read this. I'm on a mission to be a writer (ya know the kind with readers and a comfortable income), and I do hope you'll join me along the way. To my 'ole' faithfuls, thank you for not leaving and to my 'newbies' welcome to my little corner of the world! 

I'm not perfect. I'm not fancy. I'm just me and I'm REAL. I have real dreams, real emotional meltdowns from time to time, and real awesome, amazing, nothing to compare to days to share along the way! So buckle up! The scenery isn't always beautiful, but even through the rain, the sun still shines in this heart of mine! I hope you'll sit back and enjoy the ride...... Oh and join me on my old/new/old/new again Facebook Page! Sunshine Biondo


~Sunshine Biondo~